Divorce is common in some countries. It’s a sad reality though that some marriages end in divorce for certain reasons. In the US, for instance, there is approximately one divorce every 36 seconds. If you do the math, that’s 2,400 divorce cases per day, 16,800 cases per week, and 876,000 a year. What an astounding figure!
When you consider filing for divorce, chances are it is your children who will be the most affected by your decision. No matter how old your children are, they will find it hard to come to terms with such a big change. Therefore, you should consider their feelings when making your decision. You should also think about how you’re going to talk to them about it. It’s better when children are able to understand why their parents are divorcing.
So when you’re thinking about getting a divorce, here are five things that you should consider when it comes to your children:
How attached your children are to each parent
The major problem is when your children are strongly attached to you or your spouse. They feel compelled to be loyal to one or both of you. Because of this attachment, custody arrangements will be an issue, unless your children elect to stay with either one of you. But chances are they will find it hard to choose between their parents. In that case, you can expect to share custody with your spouse after your divorce is finalized.
How much conflict they witness
If you and your partner can’t stop fighting, it would be better for you to get a divorce rather than stay together and expose your kids to the conflict raging between the two of you. Hearing verbal abuse and seeing physical abuse can be quite traumatic for your children, so spare them the trauma and get a divorce instead.
How uprooting your kids may affect them
Another thing you need to consider is the change of location that may come with new custody arrangements. Your children might have to move to a new school and a new environment. They will have to leave their friends behind. Chances are your children will feel very isolated given the transition and the impact of the divorce itself. Therefore, you should sit down and think about how to handle this.
Whether you’ll be able to work with your ex
Your collaboration with your ex is important as well. It may be hard, but you have to try and communicate with your ex even after your divorce is finalized. You have to set your issues aside for the sake of your children. This means that you and your spouse have to talk about a lot of things, such as custody, financial support, your kids’ schooling, et cetera. It may be quite a challenge on your part, but you should do your best to push through it while keeping your children’s welfare in mind.
How they can cope with the transition
Finally, the transition period may really be tough for your children. Accepting that their parents are no longer together and having to get used to a new way of life can be emotionally, mentally and even physically challenging for your children. Before you decide to get a divorce, you have to prepare your children for the possibility. If you do push through with it, make sure you talk to your children about your decision. You need to make them understand why you’re doing it, as that will go a long way towards helping them reach acceptance. Lastly, you should make sure your children won’t feel like you or your ex love them any less. Remember — life continues for you and your children even after you get a divorce.