A healthy marriage isn’t one where there isn’t any conflict, but one where both parents are willing to come together and solve their differences maturely. That will ensure that the environment in their home is suitable for children. However, this is an ideal situation and most families will have to go through their fair share of problems as their children grow up. That said, if kids see their parents at each other’s throats on a daily basis, they can end up scarred for life.
In this article, we’ll discuss what goes on in a child’s mind when they see their parents argue regularly.
Why Parental Fights are a Problem
There are many psychological problems that can be attributed to the exposure to violent arguments. We’ll list some of the more prominent ones below:
Generating Insecurity in Children
While they may not have anything to do with it, children may feel as if they are responsible for their parents’ arguments. This will affect their sense of self-worth and make them more insecure.
Ruining the Parent-Child Relationship
When children see their parents fight over everything, they might lose respect for them. This will affect their long-term relationships and impair any attachment children feel to their parents.
Creating a Stressful Environment
Everybody knows how stressful it can be when your parents bicker from time to time, so imagine how stressed you’ll feel if they fight all day, every day. Stress can increase the risk of depression and learned helplessness, both of which can cause children to adopt a toxic lifestyle when they reach adulthood.
When Does Fighting Become Problematic?
Not every argument is an indication of a toxic environment, as they can be a means to a more positive end. However, there are signs that indicate that some arguments are more toxic than others. Here are some signs that a fight is more toxic than it needs to be:
// Insults Are Thrown
A reasonable argument doesn’t involve any verbal abuse from either side, so if there are insults involved, it’s a sign that there’s a problem that shouldn’t be glossed over or ignored.
// Storming Out of the House
It’s a good idea to remove oneself from a heated argument. You can come back to discuss the issue once you and the other party have regained your senses. However, it’s essential that the intent of that behavior is stated and the act of walking out isn’t abrupt and violent. For example, if one parent just storms out the door and slams it behind them, children might internalize that as a sign of abandonment. They may even blame themselves for that parent’s actions. Therefore, it’s imperative that both parents state their intention and clear it up with their children to make sure that they understand what’s being done and why.
// Irrational Behaviors
Arguments are a given when two different people live together under the same roof, but they should always lead to a solution to a common problem. If the parents only argue for the sake of arguing, that diminishes the value of such discussions, making it seem like another way of communication. If children internalize this, they will be more likely to become irrational as they grow up.
Is it better to stay together for the kids?
If their marriage has become abusive, it would be better for both parties to go their separate ways. However, if they are willing to work together to solve their problems, their marriage may be worth saving. It’s not always a good idea for the parents to stay together, as it’s much better to raise a child in a supportive environment rather than a toxic one. If the parents are unable to cultivate a positive atmosphere in their home, it might be in the children’s best interests for them to get a divorce and live separate lives. If you’re looking for a divorce attorney in Genesee County, we are here to help. Get in touch today for a free consultation.